COMM11007 Media Writing - Week 11 Blog Activities
Week 11 Blog Activities
Inquiry: Read the article ‘Woman stuck under train at Eagle Junction Train Station, Brisbane’, published on 10 September 2014: http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/woman-stuck-under-train-at-eagle-junction-train-station-brisbane/news-story/3fdffc6978a2cb47b0461d1dbb1177ad
a. What are the problems with the article?
b. Does it meet the guidelines for reporting self-harm?: http://www.mindframe-media.info/formedia/reporting-suicide
c. Post your responses/reflections on your blog.
There are a few problems with the article. It is very confusing to read. You have to re-read it a few times to work out the 5w’s and How.
The fourth paragraph sentence is too long with two lots of information in it. It would be better as two short sentences, dealing with each point separately.
The timing, what happened and who did what are spread-out through the article. It is not set out in chunks, with the relevant information to each concept kept together, as explained in Ames (2017, p. 2).
The third last sentence does not make sense; what is, ‘a flow on rail commuters…’?
Does it meet the guidelines for reporting self-harm?
The Mindframe National Media Initiative, is run by Everymind, a national institute dedicated to preventing mental illness and suicide.
Mindframe is for professional journalists to use as a guide and source of information about mental illness and suicide, and the most appropriate way to report about it, without causing any harm.
In article did not completely follow the guidelines for promoting help-seeking advice at the end of the story. It did not have direct links to the websites, even though it had the phone numbers. The guidelines advise to put direct links to the site, at the end of an online story, as directed by the pdf download from the Mindrame site link.
Also, it might not be wise to publish the age of the woman, as this can lead to copycat incidences.
2. Practical: Rewrite the above article so that it is not repetitive and makes more sense. Don’t make anything up, and it can be shorter than the original. Apply the skills you have learned to date in this course. Post the revised story to your blog.
Four Fire Crews Needed to Free Injured Woman at Eagle Junction Railway Station
At midday today, Emergency Services worked to release a woman who was caught under a train. It took them just under an hour to free her.
Delays of up to 40 minutes were experienced for Airport and Doomben trains. A witness said passengers from the train were waiting on the northern Brisbane station platform while the incident unfolded.
A spokeswoman from Queensland Ambulance Service, reported the woman was conscious and had lower leg injuries. She later said: ‘The woman was taken to the Royal Brisbane Hospital in a serious condition’.
The Police said they are treating the incident as one of self-harm.
For help with any personal mental issues please contact any of the following:
• Lifeline 13 11 14 www.lifeline.org.au
• SANE Australia Helpline 1800 18 SANE (7263) www.sane.org
• beyondblue support service line 1300 22 46 36 https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
Ames, K 2017, COMM11007 Media writing Study Guide Lesson Week 11: Reviewing Your Work, CQUniverstiy, Rockhampton, https://moodle.cqu.edu.au/course/view.php?name=COMM11007_2172
Mindframe, pdf download Reporting suicide and mental Illness: A Mindframe resource for media professionals, viewed 10 October 2017, http://himh.clients.squiz.net/mindframe/for-media/reporting-mental-illness
Week 11 Quiz – Style
Reading the chapter on Style, in Hicks (2013), explains how and why a journalist needs a particular style of writing.
A journalist needs to keep four principals in mind when writing: suitability, simplicity, precision and poise. And, above all; the needs of the reader. Serious matters need serious writing; you can be light-hearted with not so serious matters. Style is fluid, and not rigid and structured like grammar.
I think a very salient point to remember is: ‘The need to repeat or vary words is often a clue to bad structure,’ Hicks (2013, p. 107).
My first attempt for this week’s quiz was 100%, so, very pleased with that.
Hicks, W 2013, English for journalists, Chapter 8, Style, pp. 99-108, 4th edn, Routledge London and New York.